Magritte Bites It

Ravenous, that twit, Rene Magritte

Bites into an apple and swallows a pit

Enters a trance...has sort of a fit -

Countenance greenish, brightly lit.

An apple appears - center face

Hides his nose -  there's not a trace

No eyes, no mouth - what a disgrace!

He peeks under his bowler just in case.

The fruit grew there he must admit

Because he didn't spit out the pit

Now branches sprout where he must sit

Ouch!  That's got to hurt a bit.

He contemplates while having a cry

It's nothing that will  make him die

Picking apples to paint and for pie

He becomes the apple of my eye.

Salvador Dali's Chauffeur

It's moving to be an artist's chauffeur

I prepare myself by drinking liqueur

Pick up my idol,  Salvador Dali

Take a wrong turn in Tin Pan Ally.

Dali is dressed in tails and two ties

What happens next -  I'll tell no lies

I open his door, then shut it quicker

That's when I see lavender flicker.

One of his ties, the long  one - wrong size!...

Gets caught and  Dali is stuck to the car

Worse than that, his tie I mar

Then when I  free him, I step on his finger

That crunching sound will always linger.

Dali finally arrives, moustache all a twitter,

Smoothing his glitter, he is no quitter.

But says in an abstract surrealist moan
Wanting so much to be left alone, 

"No need to fetch me with your  hack

 I think I'll take a taxi back!"

Postmodern Shark Attack

Damien Hirst

Nearly burst

Trying to out-camp

Marcel Duchamp.

To top Marcel's conceptual urinal

Damien worked in an air force terminal.

Eventually something fishy did fit

For the iconoclastic, ditsy  Brit.

Executing his fame-obsessed wish

In formaldehyde he dipped a fish

The resultant preserved postmodern shark

Enclosed in glass,  made its mark.

Bought by a hedge fund guy... funny -

Only he could afford the money

No shrieks of envy pass my lips

I'd  rather have my fish with chips.