Monkey on the Roof

One day Richard, the monkey, sprung himself from his cage, stationed himself on the roof just above our porch door and dive bombed everyone as they tried to enter or exit. We were prisoners in our own house. I imagined Richard eating a banana up there and chuckling evilley to himself, "Let's see how they like being caged." Patsy, the only family member who Richard loved and who could reason with Richard was away at a movie. Having had quite enough monkeyshines, mother called the movie theater and told the ticket taker that there was an emergency: she should stop the movie, locate Patsy McLaughlin, and tell her to come home right away. The ticket taker said that that would be highly unusual and asked if she might know the nature of the emergency. My mother replied, "The monkey's on the roof and he won't let anyone in or out of the house." The ticket taker replied, "Sure, and I'm the Queen of England" and hung up.