Slow Ride

From my book of illustrated poems, Jellyfish Hash xxxxxxxxxx

MY MOUNT this post's a tortoise

Believed it would be fun

'Twas better in concept

Than the actual run.

His shell was rough and scratchy

Softened only by my bum

The pace so slow–he crept! I slept

And wished I'd brought some rum.

Should I modify my bluntness?

For when the ride was done

We beat a snail–no disrespect

 Arrivederci hon!

The Socialite

ALONE
And introverted Hermit the Crab

Pondered his life on the beach––found it drab

One day as his pincers skittered along

He spied a beauty in shimmering thong.

Whined Hermit,"Permit me to blab my gab"

Misguidedly added, "Your claws look fab"

Frightened, the girl quickly shied away

He got angry and stammered, " st-st-st-stay!

Sure I'm a crab with pincers that stab

But inside my shell, it's as big as a cab"

She shrieked, "Get away!" gave a hell of a yell

With that he stuffed her under his  shell.

He crab-walked further on down the beach

Grabbing up all the girls within reach

Now he's ebullient, no longer up tight

Indeed, he's a veritable socialite.

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