Susan's "subject matter, context and medium...present a coherent artistic vision"
John Torreano, Clinical Professor of Studio Art, NYU

"Great stuff. Love your work."
Seymour Chwast

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Friday, June 25, 2010

To nobody at

Every time I blog, I am amazed by the technical ease with which I am able to compose my posts. All necessary research is readily available at my fingertips, not to mention spelling and grammar checkers and the ability to import my artwork, which is stored, edited and categorized in iPhoto. Even though the internet and computer technology has made my writing and illustrating life quite facile, I realize that I am only using a tiny fraction of the features that are available. Every day I come across more that the computer and the internet can do. Just today I discovered a fascinating service called anonymous email remailer.

Did you ever want to give someone a piece of your cranky mind without giving the recipient of your grouchiness the chance for a rebuttal? Well you can do that with an anonymous remailer. If you have an icky-sticky message to deliver and don't want the recipient to answer you or even be sure it is from you, you can send it via an anonymous remailer. You simply write your message and send it to the remailer service. It makes up a random name for the sender and sends the message on for you. It will be your message, but with no indication of its provenance and no valid return email address. Sweet–this might afford you true and pure retribution.

I was fascinated by my discovery and its potential. As a result, I have been ruminating about various injustices I have suffered throughout life–the time my father wouldn't buy me a horse to take with me and board at college, or when my high school cheerleading team elected me co-captain instead of captain. I'd like to tell them what I think about their incomprehensible decisions. I'd also like to chide the various art directors who inexplicably assigned me inside-page illustrations instead of covers, or possibly my daughter who, unfathomably, rarely reads my blog. What about some of the provincial (in the most pejorative sense of the word) art shows I've been in and still didn't win first place? Yes, definitely! l'd also enjoy castigating Madame La Fontaine for her ill-considered choice of a dancer for the lead role of Snow Queen in our junior high school recital. Reliving these experiences was unpleasant and unfortunate. It took the wind out of my sails. I had better stop dredging up these memories before I get really angry. I ultimately decided that, unpleasant as they were, they were not horrible enough to merit using the anonymous remailer.

After much thought, I decided that perhaps the only truly appropriate uses for anonymous remailer are to combat drug dealing and spouse stealing–two high crimes. I have no personal experience with the former, but as to the latter, I did endure a failed attempt some years ago. My husband and I had befriended a seemingly helpless acquaintance. She seemed extremely needy and looked quite innocent in the little flowered dresses she wore. While we helped her cope with healing from an unfortunate life experience, she helped herself by trying to steal my husband! I learned a valuable lesson from this and have never forgotten it: A witch in flowered clothing is still a witch.

So I created the message I would have dispatched, had the internet existed at the time, and sent my hypothetical message to myself via an anonymous remailer. The remailer assigned to me a rather appropriate random name. That assigned name and my hypothetical message appear below. (Getting into the spirit of anonymity, I couldn't resist adding an assigned name for the recipient as well.)


Which witch is it who bewitched my love while using me?
Which witch is it wanting fortune, fame, all that she can see?
Which witch is it? The witch imploring favors of me and thee for free.
To which I must reply, "It's not to be. Go climb your own thorned, lust-infested tree."

Which witchmail exposing which tale to my male
Did I stomp on 'til my blushing cheeks turned pale?
The one in which she stated, 'I need your help, I am so frail'.
Forgive me, witch. I balk and bail; I cannot see how you'll prevail
With your sad tale with my or any other male. You must get off his trail.

Which witch is it? I'll cast my spell and see, then ditch
The witch whose pall I'll lift without a hint of email glitch.
Which witch is it? Narcissa, the self-enamored witch.
To which I give the shame and name, The Flowered Witch.

And that's my pitch.


Monday, June 21, 2010

Golden Ladies

Some of my favorite Golden Ladies meet Stevie Wonder's Golden Lady, as envisioned by my Golden Niece, Amy Youngs. Please click on the golden link below.

Friday, June 18, 2010


"Do you know how many starving cats there are in Europe?"

Saturday, June 12, 2010


" 'Quote...quote...quote,' I wonder if she ever had an original thought?"

Thursday, June 10, 2010

If you hold it to your ear, you can hear the subway."

Thursday, June 3, 2010


I said we should keep our relationship virtual--not virtuous.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Circle of Hell

Two Foxes

I AM NO ANTHROPOLOGIST, but I have observed a particular social phenomenon too many times not to recognize it when I see it. I have been there, studied it, analyzed it, and classified it. My non-anthropological associate and misplaced daughter, Sophie has even given it a name. Like I and Sophie, you will know when you are there, but you will never know the anguish of being the subject/object of the Circle of Hell.

After learning about the Circle of Hell, I am certain you will want to avoid it at all costs. I can tell you how you can do just that. I have developed a simple strategy that actually works. Quite simply, you must never under any circumstances be the first to leave a social gathering. It's OK to be the second to depart, but be forewarned, you must not be the first.

If you are the first to leave, it will be your judgment day. The lights will slowly dim and eventually be replaced by the menacing flicker of candles licking the darkness. The chairs, which were arranged in amicable little groupings conducive to friendly chitchat while you were there, will start to rearrange on their own until they reconfigure into a circle. Their formerly pacific and lighthearted occupants will find their way back to them, but now they look just a little different, maybe a little haggard. The lips of these formerly gentle people are no longer turned up in smiles; their brows are harshly knit. Thus, the Circle of Hell convenes. What's that? You were the first to leave. Well, then, unfortunately for you, it is your judgment day.

Remember that charming, funny, easygoing young doctor with the buzz cut, grey tee shirt and cargo shorts.? He was nice, right? We-elllllll not after you le-eeeave. No way. No more Mr. Nice Guy now that you are absent. He is so on to you. He committed everything you told him to memory while he was studying your body language from head to toe. In your absence he is dissecting your conversation word by word, pointing out every discrepancy and comparing his noted inconsistencies with those noted by other guests. He told everyone that he was too polite to even mention the subject of your outfit and hair, but that if he were to mention it, it would not be favorable. Others were not that polite. How about that tall, slim pretty young lady with the wispy brown hair and dazzling white smile.

You remember her, the one wearing her pet fox around her neck and the ladybug jewelry? She was so friendly and interesting–lots of fun to talk to. I believe I overheard her saying to you "Let's do lunch." Well, after you left, she's having you for lunch, savoring you juicy tidbit by juicy tidbit. Hope you didn't give her too much information to work with. Didn't she tell you she thought it was charming and carefree of you to let your thong show? Suddenly, after you leave, she thinks it's not so charming at all and she's telling everyone in the throng you were wrong to show your thong.

That fashion plate who loved your shoes and asked if they were Manolos? Well, she is now asking "where in the world would someone find a pair of shoes that hideous–in some third world thrift shop for the fashion challenged?"

Do you understand? Fortunately, even you can evade the Circle of Hell. All you have to do is follow my advice and not be the first to leave. Then and only then, can you avoid being judged. It's as simple as that. You will still be little old you (and only you know what that actually is), but no one else will be able to judge you.

Warning: Do not be the first to leave this blog site. You'd be well advised to just keep going down the page reading all the posts. Repeat Warning: Do not be first to leave Depingo Ergo Sum. If you are, you will risk subjecting yourself to the virtual Circle of Hell. Yes, the Circle of Hell exists in cyberspace as well. You will probably have to stay online for the rest of your life and have meals brought in. You may as well do it right here on my blog. There are 67 posts to date and that should keep you busy for a while. You will not be missing out on anything in real life. I will continue observing life with a keen eye and will keep you posted. Thus you will not have to risk being called to account virtually and prematurely. So long as you stay on Depingo Ergo Sum, you will be safe–dum de dum daaaaa--from....... the.......virtual....... Circle of Hell.

Leave at your peril.

Paint on,


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