Harrisonia

HARRISONIA IS A STATE OF MIND. I am thoroughly enchanted whenever I visit that state. The ruler of this land is HRH Harrison Barrison, an off the wall, free-spirited, eight-year-old benevolent dictator. The top fourteen reasons I like visiting Harrisonia so much are because Harrison :

14. Is never cold and is never tired.

13. Hears thunder and wonders whether it is Thor, and whether Thor is in charge of lightning as well.

12. Stands as far away as he possibly can when filling up watering can to make it more fun and challenging to get water into the aperture.

11. Carries fistfulls of brightly colored, appallingly wiggling rubber snakes around with him.

10. Eats strawberry pancakes while performing cool dance moves to ambient rock music standing up in booth, inspiring wait staff to gyrate with him.

xxxxa. Figured out why pancakes taste good–maple syrup.

9.Eats only three things for dinner: chicken nuggets, hot dogs and french fries.

xxxxa. Figured out why french fries taste good-- Ketchup.

8.Tests sharpness of cactus needles at the nursery by pressing his fingers into them.

7. Jumps off twelve-foot high boulders to see if he will bounce.

6. Rapidly clicks bathroom light on and off while I'm inside to give me the benefit of strobe effect.

5. Knows a thousand reasons why it's not time to go to bed.

4. Holds hands and poses with store mannequins, so they will not be lonely.

3. Scores soccer goal–says it's not about the goal, it's about the way teammates set it up.

2 Systematically loses all birdies before badminton net is even set up.

And the number one reason I like to visit Harrisonia is because Harrison:

1.Moves hand-held shower head back and forth in front of his mouth and says he's kissing his girlfriend.

It's fun visiting Harrisonia, but ... err ... uh ... Harrison ... lose the snakes.