Intoxicated

Age-0ld philosophical question:
"If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around to hear it, does the tree make a sound?"

My answer is "No." Without an ear-bearing person present, there would be no sound - only the vibrations that might create a sound.

Same question updated for the digital age: If a tree (one that I had drawn for University of Connecticut School of Agriculture's recruiting brochure) and I were toasting you on this blog, but you never visited, so that the three of us–artist, image and viewer– could bond over a drink during our philosophical chat, would the tree fall down? Would it make a sound when it fell down?

And now that we're really thinking deep thoughts, what would happen to me after my hysterical crying jag (brought about by a distressing lack of blog visitors) let up? By the way, would my crying make a sound? Would I fall down?

Answer: The tree and I would both fall down because we would be intoxicated after your no-show caused us to drink a whole bottle of wine by ourselves. It would be your loss because you wouldn't have gotten to share a delicious glass of chilled-to-perfection Sauvignon Blanc with us. And this sound would haunt you for the rest of your natural life:

HIC!